How to get what you want

3 08 2008

Step right up!  I have here the secret to happiness, the key to give you everything you want!  Preposterous you say?  Well for only 3 easy payments of $56.98…

Ok, just kidding.  But I am serious about getting everything you want.

One of my first posts since joining this blog was entitled “What do you want?” It was about the attitudes and thoughts swirling around in my head about the then unknown gender of our child due this Christmas.  We have since found out that we are having a girl, and I felt compelled to write a follow-up article.  So here I am to tell you how to get what you want.

I won’t go over everything from the last post, but I will remind you that my wife and I prayed, struggled, and labored to seek God’s will for our lives and not our own.  The consensus of those around us was that we obviously should be hoping for a girl.  We fought against this mentality with the truth that we don’t know what’s best for our family… God does.

It took the technician a while to find the “gender clues”, mostly because this baby appears to be very calm and docile (praise the Lord!).  Once she was able to find the sex, Michelle and I were in a kind of surreal bewilderment period that lasted about an hour.  We went right to Walmart after the appointment and bought a load of pink apparel, but the whole outing was a bit stressful since we had the boys along with us.  We got snacks at McDonalds and I suggested that we park the car and eat and process what we had just found out.  Once we got a chance to sit and think about it, the excitement and giggling started.

Now there are little pink and purple dresses hanging around the house like decorations.  I am slowly going broke, but I’m okay with that!  We are giddy to meet Megan Elizabeth, and I am personally ready to go to the hospital tomorrow to get this thing going.  Michelle is willing to wait until December.

Everyone around us is very excited, but I found myself conflicted with how to discuss the gender revelation with others.  I made such a point about how we wanted whatever God wanted, I sort of felt that if I was too visibly excited I would appear to have not completely bought in to what I was preaching.  Which brings me to the key verse I’ve had on my mind the last couple of days.

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

This is a popular verse for those who push a prosperity gospel.  One acquaintance of my wife’s used this verse to argue that God would give us a girl if we wanted one.  But what does this verse mean?  It is evident from many examples in scripture (Job and Jeremiah, most notably) and normal experience that godly people don’t always get what they want.  I think a parallel verse in the NT helps shed some light on what’s going on here:

“for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.” Philippians 2:13

We see that when we “will” and “work” for His good pleasure, it is not our own good works, but the result of God working in our hearts.  Similarly, the psalmist is saying that if we delight in the Lord and commit our way to Him (v. 5), God will replace our desires with His desires.  So when I say you can get what you want, I mean your heart will be filled with desires from God.

When I considered my spiritual journey in this pregnancy, I realized that I had toiled to put any desires of my own out of my heart, and focused on delighting in whatever the Lord had for me.  When God saw fit to reveal to us we were having a girl, I believe He gave me a desire for a girl that I didn’t have before.  I am confident in saying that because normally when I wander down the toy aisle, I am drawn to Legos and Transformers, but recently I just want to look at cuddly pink dolls. *Sigh*.

Yes I did pick them out, thank you very much!

Yes I did pick them out, thank you very much!

In that same vein, I also believe that if God’s plan were for us to have another boy, He would have given me a desire for another boy.

It is so freeing to live this way because when you’re excited about God’s will, there is no shame or second-guessing.  Many times I’ve gotten excited about things that were purely in line with my will or plan, only to find disappointment and frustration.  If you want true happiness and satisfaction in your life, let God have sovereignty over your desires.

And that’s why I can say God gave me what I wanted.

P.S. I have to make a reference to one of my favorite songs which speaks to this total submission of the heart – “Give It All Away” by Aaron Shust.  I love that song though I can’t say I’ve attained it’s ideal yet.  Maybe one day.




5 responses

3 08 2008

Coming from a family where boys seem to dominate I feel I have something to add here.

After all, the Miller Brothers (myself and my brother Allan) have only produced more Miller Brothers thus far. But that is just the tip of the iceburg when it comes to our family. Add to this my wife’s sister who also only has two boys and the family birthday parties get pretty exciting very fast. Extended family also boasts a plethora of boy cousins – only a few girls here and there to keep us sane but unfortunately most of them live out of state – so still no help on the family gatherings. Just a big romping slew of boys! :-)

With this in mind, I think I can say with confidence that boys are a blessing. After all, they are the best to play baseball with and go camping with and even watch nerdy guy movies like Star Wars with. No amount of tea parties can replace being burried beneath a sweaty pile of boys during the annual family Turkey bowl. It is a thrill I look forward to every Thanksgiving.

One thing is for sure, boys remind you how old you are getting every time you try to keep up with them.

My two sons are the brightest lights in my life and I can’t imagine being without them.

With all of this said, I would be lying if I didn’t say we would be absolutely thrilled to have a girl in the immediate family. Someday, Lord willing, this may happen. Until then, I’m happy to be tackled by boys.

Praise God for his blessing of a child in your lives. Be it boy or girl (as it sounds like it is) we celebrate the gift of life that is coming into your home.

Congratulations Dave!

4 08 2008

Well, Dave, you’re in for it now- the pink and frilly invasion has begun! The numbers are still in your favor, but I don’t think that will mean much.
Seriously, Amy and I are excited for you and Michelle, as you now will have the blessing of being able to experience life with a little girl- and what a blessing it is!
I’m glad for the Miller clan and all of their testosterone, but our friend Chris has yet to experience of the joy of being the source of protection and security to a little girl. With boys (as you well know), you’re the measuring stick for their strength- they love to test themselves against you. With little girls, you became the source of their strength as they look to you for protection and security, going to you not to see how strong they are but how secure they are. What a treasured and serious responsibility that is! Yes, you might have some tea parties to attend now and then, and you could even end up waving a princess wand or (gulp!) wearing a tiara as you sit with Megan and her dollies at the table. But the precious treasure you have in your little daughter is so wonderful, you’ll end up forgetting about the ridiculous costume (maybe) and rejoicing in her joy as she has tea with her champion!
…and then when she hits the teen years and the boys starts coming around, you are more than welcome to join me in my investment in a shotgun, a shovel, and a large back yard!…
But for now, just focus on tea parties, holding her hand, and being her champion.
You have a real blessing, my friend.
Our God is so good.

4 08 2008

Just for the record I have had to wear the (gulp!) tierra and endure several tea parties with Keegan. Should I be worried about that?

It’s great to have kids because they are each so unique and special. The personality traits between Truitt and Keegan have already emerged. Truitt the tank and Keegan the Kook!

Praise God for little ones.

4 08 2008

Well, I guess I don’t have to worry about Keegan being one of those boys “coming around”! Just kidding… he just seems to love cooking (how the tiara fits into that, I’m not sure).

6 08 2008
Bob Allen

Buy the way, it seemed like everyone got to buy Megan an outfit but me — so I couldn’t resist getting something too. We’ll get it to you this weekend. Nice to hear you and Michelle had such a good Mariner’s experience – quite unlike Bubba’s trip to the ballpark. But you know Ryan, if you want to build a relationship with those boys, you should do this once a month.

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